Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

It’s still here.

This seed is rich in protein, magnesium, and helps grow muscle mass - Earth.com

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

SpaceX launches 500th orbital Falcon rocket on 15th anniversary of the Falcon 9 - Spaceflight Now

I was tired of fighting.

Be who you already are.

And the sadness?

Have you had any paranormal activity situations happen personally to you or someone you know?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

You are like me, then.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Sonic Racing CrossWorlds Is a Kart Racing Spectacle That Celebrates Sega’s History - IGN

The sadness was still there.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

US valley fever cases may be 18 times higher than reported - CIDRAP

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

I had run out of hope.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Solar Orbiter gets world-first views of the Sun’s poles - European Space Agency

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Is it harder to become a professor nowadays? If yes, why?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Amazon Carries Nintendo Games Again, Including New Switch 2 Exclusives - GameSpot

It’s here now, writing to you.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

How does the "Chain of Thought" prompting technique enhance inductive reasoning in large language models?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.